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Dr. Bowen Talking to the Special Postgraduate Program, Tape VB0434, Part Four from TMBAP on Vimeo.
In this video clip Dr. Bowen talks to the Special Postgraduate Program about how to work with families whose, “decks are awash.” He describes finding the most mature person in the group and working with that them to define what they can do, will do and won’t do. From June 1984.
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– Now in a chaotic-level family, if you can approach that family with that you will find somebody in that family who is a better functioning person. Better functioning person, I mean you can put that on a scale if you want to. You can, that is a way of thinking. That aint’ no fact. That’s just a way of thinking within you. You can find a person who has a potential for operating on a better level and you can relate to that one. And then a chaotic-level family is one with it’s decks awash. And you can be pretty sure that nobody in that family has ever defined what they can do, what they will do, and what they won’t do. So that a survival family, a chaotic-level family, is one with its decks awash. And when anybody in that family can be sure of self and can state it in relationship to the family, that family is a different family. So I’ve seen psychotic-level families in which usually it’s the father or the mother, it can be an oldest daughter or something like that, but it is a person within this, define self in absolutely dogmatic, impossible terms on a level that I could accept. But they’re dealing with that family. And I’m not dealing with them. They’re dealing with the family. And I’ve seen psychotic families in which the father would come through with some dogmatic threat like unless this family straightens up I’m gonna knock somebody’s head off, you know? Which would be low level position. But in that family they can respect it. And I never tried to get in the road of getting in the road of anybody who’s taking charge in that family. I mean you can see remarkable things happen when any person in that family takes a responsible position that they’re gonna back up. Then it becomes a long term after the family settles down that it’s a long term thing to help a motivated one to tone down their I positions and all that kinda stuff. But I would say that your way of thinking about human problems and your way of dealing with ’em, and you can say there is a better way if you can work out. And you would be trying to help anybody pull up to a better way of functioning, and they will show themselves in the family. Somebody will have that ability to do it. And I would rather work in that direction than do a group therapy thing. In my opinion too many family approaches work on a group therapy level.