“Among all the concepts that I’ve developed, probably the most important had to do with the extended family. And another one (that I consider the most important) would be the differentiation of self” (M. Bowen, M.D.). Dr. Bowen answers audience questions, beginning with a request to explain differentiation in one sentence.
Videos, Alcohol and the Family System
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Two clips are included in Part 2. In the first, Dr. Bowen considers the quality of the relationship of the therapist and family. In the second, he discusses the nature of cutoff.
In responding to audience questions, Dr. Bowen talks about open relationships and the importance of AA in providing relief of symptoms and how it has fixed more drinking problems than anything else. It takes something else, however, to make real changes in life.
The account of a man who was separated from his wife for 12 years but unable to make a decision to file for divorce leads into a discussion of the impossible situation of more than one therapist at a time working with a family. You “cannot take up two courses of action at the same time,” said Dr. Bowen.
The working hypothesis Dr. Bowen developed to be tested in his research at NIMH purports that all people, to some degree, do not separate self from parents. The degree to which this separation is accomplished or not is reflected in the wholeness of the person. “No one is a complete person alone. The past is hanging on to you.” This segment is rich.
Dr. Bowen outlines differences between natural systems theory and “man-made” systems theories — in particular general systems theory. “Generally, we mix up the two — what came from nature and what came from man’s head.” The challenges of instant communication are next. It has brought the population closer together. The problem is that the closer we get together, the more allergic we get to each other.
In these two clips, Dr. Bowen talks about neutrality in therapy, relating to people without feeling sorry for them, helping friends and colleagues, and the danger of caring.