If there is one thing that is almost universal in Marriages, it is the WISH FOR HAPPINESS and the EFFORT TO MAKE THE OTHER HAPPY. The more mature the people, the less the concern with HAPPINESS. The more immature the people, the more they get preoccupied with HAPPINESS. This is most striking in the least mature people. The best example of this I've seen was a couple who "felt" (It is very hard for some people to operate on beliefs instead of feelings) that the ideal marriage would be one in which each could "give self to the other completely." What a mess of a marriage they had!
In my opinion, HAPPINESS, AS A GOAL, IS UNATTAINABLE. It appears to work for a lot of us, in a half successful kind of way, but the showdown comes with the test case situation. It is NEVER POSSIBLE TO SUCCEED IN MAKING THE OTHER HAPPY because SELF CAN NEVER DETERMINE WHEN HE HAS SUCCEEDED. Only the other can determine when your effort has been successful. For most of us, we make an effort to please the other and the other, sensing our effort, ACTS pleased without bothering his head to KNOW whether he was pleased or not. Life goes on as a grand delusion with no need to be especially concerned about it.